i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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