I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
