I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize