I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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