Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
