we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
