i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
