Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
