there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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