can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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