You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
