You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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