End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
