Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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