Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
