You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
