look no pants
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
