I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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