he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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