I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
