escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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