Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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