Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
