Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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