Too much gin, very little bucket
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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