Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
