But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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