I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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