in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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