I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
