So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm both gender and math confused
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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