and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
