About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
