Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
