Cold hands, warm shart.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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