I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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