worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize