Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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