Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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