They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
