No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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