come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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