i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
