mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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