Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
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I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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