I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will be naked everywhere
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
