i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
