i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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