So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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