My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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