u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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