I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
