just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
