new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
