if you like me you must not know who I am
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
