Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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