Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and she was petting her beer can
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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