They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize