Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
